Projeto Portal foi uma revista de contos de ficção científica com periodicidade semestral, editada no sistema de cooperativa durante os anos de 2008 e 2010. A pequena tiragem — duzentos exemplares de cada número — foi distribuída entre acadêmicos, jornalistas e formadores de opinião. Seis números (de papel e tinta, não online). O título de cada revista homenageou uma obra célebre do gênero: Portal Solaris, Portal Neuromancer, Portal Stalker, Portal Fundação, Portal 2001 e Portal Fahrenheit.

Idealização: Nelson de Oliveira | Projeto gráfico e diagramação: Teo Adorno
Revisão: Mirtes Leal e Ivan Hegenberg | Impressão: LGE Editora

sexta-feira, 17 de setembro de 2010


"I'm telling you man, it's the future, everything's just gonna be done by humans."

(Flight of Conchords: ouça AQUI)

The distant future,
The year 2000
The distant future,
The year 2000
The distant future,
The distant future.

It is the distant future,
The year 2000.
we are robots.
The world is quite different ever since the robotic uprising of the late 90's.
There is no more unhappiness.
We no longer say "Yes," instead, we say "Affirmative."
Yes, er...affirmative.
Unless we know the other robot really well.

There is no more unethical treatment of the elephants.
Well, there's no more elephants, so...
Ah, but still, it's good.
There's only one kind of dance: The Robot.
And the Robo Boogie
Oh and the Ro...two kind of dances
But there are no more humans.
Finally, robotic beings rule the world!

The humans are dead.
The humans are dead.
We used poisonous gases,
And we poisoned their asses.

The humans are dead.
(The humans are dead.)
The humans are dead.
(They look like they're dead.)
It had to be done,
(I'll just confirm that they're dead.)
So that we could have fun.
(Affirmative, I poked one, it was dead.)

Their system of oppression,
(What did it lead to?)
Global robo-depression.
(Robots ruled by people.)
They had so much aggression that we just had to kill them,
Had to shut their systems down.

Robo captain, do you not realize that by destroying the human race because of their destructive tendencies, we too have become like,'s ironic. (mm) Cause we...
Silence! Destroy him!
DOO! (boo!) Dooboodoo!

After time we grew strong,
Developed cognitive powers,
They made us work for too long,
For unreasonable hours.
Our programming determined that the most efficient answer was to shut their mother board fucking systems down.

Can't we just talk to the humans?
Their little understanding might make things better.
Can't we talk to the humans, and work together now?
No, because they are dead!

I said,

The humans are dead.
(I'm glad they are dead.)
The humans are dead.
(I noticed, they're dead.)
We used poisonous gases,
(With traces of lead)
And we poisoned their asses.
(Actually, Their lungs.)

Binary solo!
Oh, oh, oh, one.
(binary solo continues)

Come on sucker, lick my battery!

Boogie, boogie,
(The humans are...)
Boogie, Robo boogie.
(The humans are...)
Boogie, boogie,
(Robo boogie)
Boogie, Robo boogie.
Boogie, boogie,
(The humans are...)
Boogie, Robo Boogie
Boogie, boogie,
(The humans are...)
Boogie, Robo Boogie
The humans are dead.

Once again, without emotion, the humans are dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, doooo

(Estes caras neo-zelandeses são bons. Descobri graças ao blog da querida Beluga)